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I return to where you are standing, and lock your ankles into the spreader, keeping them spread the way they are. “How do you feel slave?” I ask as I walk back to the wall and examine various whips and paddles. “Anxious Master,” you reply, as I choose a whip from the wall and walk up behind you. “That is a good state to be in slave. Nervous, but excited is how you should feel.” I tell you as I take a firm hold of the whip, which has a handle roughly six inches long and a roughly eleven inch bouquet of ribbons. I bring the whip back, and then down mildly over both your ass cheeks. I notice you tense, but you do not groan in pain as you are struck with the whip. I repeat the action, doing my best to duplicate the level of force used. Again you tense, but not as much as the first time. I repeat the action an additional three times, each time maintaining the level of force I use to whip your ass. Your tensing decreases with each strike, your ass slowly turning pink. “Very good slave,” I. For me Kristy will always be sixteen and she will always be beautiful. So what was my “If only” you want to know. Well her name was Eva-Jane. The “If only” in life lies scattered everywhere. If only I had done this instead of that. If only I had left the house five minutes later. If only I had bought Google instead of Citibank. If only I had kept my mouth shut. If only I had been born rich. You get it right? Pretty much everyone has his or her own “If only” list. For most of us the list is pretty fucking long. At sixteen we all dream of our first love and I was like that. I daydreamed all the time, especially about sex and love. I went to a large public high school in Ottawa, Canada. Frankly for me the start of grade nine was murder. But I dreamed of happiness “if only” I could be with Kristy Lee. There you go-- see-- another “If only.” I was what you might call “bookish”, one of the “smart kids”. I loved movies and books. I was the moody boy reading Hemingway’s “The Sun Also Rises”,.
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